How much it would cost to earn a Ph.D. from the school I want to attend.

I'll take massive spectre of debt for $1000, alex.

What else?

oh yeah, I'm disconnecting from friends and family so I can finish a book. I realized the precursors of in what I was saying the other day.

All I really want is a cup of coffee with a what was (or so i thought) burgeoning friendship as well.

sigh. I'm too much of a geek I suppose.

I've been on both sides of the spectrum.

In high school, I would drink only water and milk. I would eat a basket of fries at lunch and that would be all I ate. I played basketball and ran most of the time. I weighed 135 lb's most of the time I was there. My parents feared I was anorexic, which I was, in hindsight.

In my first relationship I went up to 212 pounds.On a 5'10" frame.

Currently, around 188 or so. I would like to get back down to 180 or slightly below but I have to starve myself to do so. If I eat any protein, any at all, my body begins to swell back to whatever state I was in when I was working out for four hours a day on top of doing heavy manual labor at the distribution center. Do not want that. Here's to one meal a day, which is what I'm currently attempting. My pants look like a bad Jenny Craig commercial and I'm to the last loophole on my belt. I don't want to buy new clothes either.

What else?

Godel for starving himself out of the loss of love


I can't stop this. I can see it, but I can't stop it.

i need to get the book out ofme before my mind goes

You can change your name but it won't change who you are.

When you won't even take the time to regret what you did, how am I supposed to talk to you.

Just so long as you put enough distance between you and what happened by moving quickly. In this way you can look back on hazy recollections, if you do at all.

I gave you "The Fountain" for a reason.

The only time I wanted to write and BE is when I felt your love. I'm not going to do it out of spite.

"Why the fuck do you think I'm here" says our main character as she looks down at the finger where the ring was once placed.

I know what I want now.

Before I was distracted.

I was 204 four days ago.

Burn out as I've always waned to do.

I told my sister I was ready to die yesterday.
She cried and I looked on with sadness at the fear that it caused.

No, not for attention.

My body is rejecting food.
I can only drink small amounts of water.

I don't want to release what I know. Too much boring into myself has left me this way. I'd rather carry my burden to the grave.

I'm not afraid anymore.

I have to pay a speeding ticket tomorrow.

Over the phone.

in Tasmania.

What else?

I moved into a muddled bungalow in Dallas.

I hate moving stuff by myself. More-so, I hate renting the U-haul at 7 AM in Denton, cleaning out an entire storage unit, moving said items into an apartment not yet ready (2 PM!!), returning the U-haul truck, and showing up for work by 5 PM in Denton. I somehow pulled it off through a combination of cursing-fueled running and rampant amphetamine use.

Items of curse-worthy note:
Metal Chair
Full "Sultan" bed (Fuck the Persians? Fuck Ikea? Fuck my consumerism?)
12 boxes of books (roughly, with 4 remaining at my parent's house!!)
Buying $280 worth of cooking supplies

I'm going to go enjoy some Mr. Show and Upright Citizens Brigade.

Choice words coming soon.

I'm sorry.

Reading...


As always.

Random.

It gets pixar around the 30 second mark...

I went and saw Role Models with my sister. Two of the funniest jokes are in the previews.

But, this lady

Jane Lynch

is hilarious. I couldn't stop laughing at all her dead-panning.

If I were ever to make a series of movies, a big IF, but we reside, currently, in my realm of make-believe and fantasy, dear reader, I wouldn't. How about only one? A really good one? I can understand if it's a long story and could(should?) be divided like LOTR, Star Wars, The Godfather, Indiana Jones...
But sometimes those immortal classics overgrow their own framework, with characters approaching superhero, God, mythos status, and that's when they descend down into tragedy... such as the spell-binding Die-Hard series, the chest-pounding Alien series (well, mostly...), and who can forget the jaw-dropping Jaws quadrilogy on Enmity island.

Notable exceptions include Dark Knight and Dark Knight
If I were though, to make a trilogy of films...
A trinity of tales, I shall call them, respectively
1.The Father
2.The Son
3.The Holy Ghost

A triplex at the cineplex for those with a GOD complex

Half off on Sunday.
Yippie-ki-yi-yay, Motherfucker
Amen.

Besides this post telling you that I'll post more, I have some posts I'm "working on", deciding whether to release. Waiting for the right whither i suppose...

All of it seems so very arrogant though, flippant...Any time wit is employed I feel as if it's all a game of 1-upping in assorted sordids

Sorta? ...an I'Mpressing upon others of self

Think i'm gonna go back to being humble, mousy, studious for awhile,  that title and the quote "Wit is the epitaph of an emotion" comes to mind now

Guidance?
Commemorative INsert?

ahhhhhhaahahahahaaahhhhhhhhhhhhh...I HATE dichotomies...

May I apologize?

A journal for thought...I know it says "Live"journal, yet, my thought is my life, somewhat unfortunately...or fortunately. A heaven of hell and a hell of heaven. Logos and what stems from within.

On being morally moribund...
In keeping a memory, in reading critically, in tracking the change from your position to that of an authors, does one let a work, an act, an event, change oneself? If an I is built up much does one really change?

Oh sleep, you mirthless mirrh, you minx, you bring solace and sapidity to billions a night. Why won't you visit me? You santa claus whore...give me a sign, a wink, if you will. Always manic, more so anyways, in the fall/winter...

Reading Nietzsche "Untimely Meditations: On the Uses and Disadvantages of History for life"

pleas